Probability

  • How do coaches stay even-keeled at the start of a season?

    They begin with a uniform distribution!

    Larry Lesser

  • Why did the statistics student download the chapter on continuous distributions from her eBook instead of just reading it on the class website?

    Because for that chapter, her teacher said to use the pdf!

    Judah Lesser

  • by W.J. Youden (1900 - 1971)

    THE
    NORMAL
    LAW OF ERROR
    STANDS OUT IN THE
    EXPERIENCE OF MANKIND
    AS ONE OF THE BROADEST
    GENERALIZATIONS OF NATURAL
    PHILOSOPHY ... IT SERVES AS THE
    GUIDING INSTRUMENT IN RESEARCHES
    IN THE PHYSICAL AND SOCIAL SCIENCES AND
    IN MEDICINE, AGRICULTURE, AND ENGINEERING.
    IT IS AN INDISPENSABLE TOOL FOR THE ANALYSIS AND THE
    INTERPRETATION OF THE BASIC DATA OBTAINED BY OBSERVATION AND EXPERIMENT

  • A statistics major was completely hung over the day of his final exam. It was a true/false test, so he decided to flip a coin for the answers. The statistics professor watched the student the entire two hours as he was flipping the coin ... writing the answer ... flipping the coin ... writing the answer. At the end of the two hours, everyone else had finished the exam and left the room except for that lone student. The professor walked over and said, "Listen, I see that you did not study for this statistics test, you didn't even look at the exam questions. If you are just flipping a coin for your answers, what in the world is taking you so long?"
    Still flipping the coin, the student replied "Shhh! I am checking my answers!"

  • How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?

    1.96, normally.

    Jackie Miller

  • After sitting through the twenty-third example about playing cards in his probability class, the student raised his hand to complain: "Professor, all this talk makes me feel like I'm turning into a deck of cards."
    The professor turned to the student and replied, "Be patient and I'll deal with you later."

Pages