Lyrics by Alan Reifman
May be sung to the tune of “Maneater,” by Daryl Hall, John Oates, and Sara Allen

You have your, IV’s set up,
Sometimes, as a 2 X 4,
You look for effects, on the dependent variable, yes you do,
Multiple measures,
Aren’t what you’re used to seeing, just a single outcome,

You study, alcohol use,
By gender and, by student groups,
You can measure drinking, different ways, to get a broader view,
Multiple measures,
Volume, times drunk, and bingeing days, just to name a few,

(Slow) Mul-ti-ple DV’s,
Analyze ’em, all at once,
Doing so’s, a breeze,
It’s a MANOVA,

(Slow) Mul-ti-ple DV’s,
Analyze ’em, all at once,
Doing so’s, a breeze,
It’s a MANOVA,

(Brief interlude)

The DV’s are, given weights,
To create, a composite,
The IV groups, are then compared, on these composite scores,
Multiple results,
Are printed out, on which you can, follow through,

(Slow) Mul-ti-ple DV’s,
Analyze ’em, all at once,
Doing so’s, a breeze,
It’s a MANOVA,

(Slow) Mul-ti-ple DV’s,
Analyze ’em, all at once,
Doing so’s, a breeze,
It’s a MANOVA

A statistician walks into a diner.
The server asks, "What will you have for lunch?"
The statistician replies, "Just the normal....with some tea."
​
Judah Lesser