• by Lawrence M Lesser

    At my first checkup
    with this doctor, he scans the labs,
    declares me diabetic for life
    like 1 in 10 Americans.
    Just like that: normal to diabetes,
    skipping prediabetes. He

    pulled the trigger not from my A1C, but from
    a tolerance test, possibly false
    with too few carbs,
    a pitfall I learned not from him or the lab,
    but frantic Googling
    this diagnosis.

    This internist is also a diabetologist,
    so diabetes may be his null,
    as the Anderson-Darling null is normality,
    with default to launch protocol.
    So is my Type 2
    a Type II error?

    He may not care
    I’m a researcher:
    I’d love a CGM to show in real time
    what spikes my sugar and its CV or my time out of range.
    He says that’s too complex –
    it’s glucometer and finger pokes for me. So back home I

    pull the trigger on my lancing device,
    and the pain’s less than bracing
    for the prick.
    Do I have tolerance for this? The monitor’s MOE
    exceeds half the window of
    what’s normal. Whatever

    label may stick, I want to change.
    Given how unmindful I’ve been with
    my potbelly and what goes in it,
    there’s power in turning carbs to servings
    and each plate into a pie chart, reducing portions
    of things like pie.



    Note: this poem was written before the diagnosis was deemed incorrect and overturned

  • lyrics by Jamie Tan Xin Yee, Joelyn Chong, Deston Tang, Christine Sia, Nellie Lee, Josiah Tan, and Lee Yi Yuan
    may be sung to the tune of "LOVE" by Bert Kaempfert and Milt Gabler

    Let us teach you a thing or two
    Stats is more than just concepts, for you
    Stats, is very useful, can be found around us
    Here’s a simple song for you to get to know it better

    F, tests for different variances
    Chi, looks for a relationship, you see
    Z, checks for both means and true proportions
    And T, is used when sigma is unknown to us, so...

    One, decide on your hypothesis
    Two, ascertain your significance level
    Three, identify which test you should be using, and
    Four, complete the steps and analyse your results, and

    These, are four basic tests, for stats
    All, can be done in a few simple steps
    Stats, is more than numbers so make sure to analyse it
    Come, let me show you what to do
    Come, let me show you what to do
    Come, let me show you what to do!

  • by Lawrence Mark Lesser

    When doing hypothesis tests,
    There's no threshold value that's best.
    It's very contrived
    To use point-oh-five
    To say if you should be impressed!

  • Lyrics copyright by Dennis K Pearl
    May sing to the tune of "When I'm Sixty-Four" (Beatles)

    When collecting data, try to be fair
    Many years from now
    Will you still have a null value defined
    Test to construct, with a p to find?
    If I get one ‘n three-quarters for zee
    Would you lock the door?
    Where should p lead you, will you still need me
    When I'm point oh-four?

    If the science changes
    Shouldn’t the test?
    I could work in stages

    Take mu as random, don’t draw me a line
    State your point of view
    Indicate precisely what your mean will say
    Information wasting away
    Give me your posterior, and its form
    changing evermore
    Where should p lead you, will you still need me
    When I'm point oh-four?

  • A sign test has its pluses and minuses but the Wilcoxon does first things first.

    Larry Lesser

  • I was in denial about using a non-parametric test - but the signs were all there.

    Dennis Pearl