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  • Lyric © 9/8/2011 Lawrence M. Lesser
    may sing to the tune of the same-titled song by Suzanne Vega and Stephen Addabbo from the 1986 film Pretty in Pink

    If you want me, you can find me
    Left of center, down the long scale:
    In the skewness, down the left side,
    In the sparseness of the long tail.

    When they ask me "What shape describes your graph?",
    I always answer: "Left-skewed (left-skewed)."
    I think they know that my skew is negative;
    I think they think my mode is plain rude.

    But I'm only in the long tail of the density,
    Far away from the modal view--
    And if you want me, you can find me
    Left of center, wondering about μ,
    wondering about μ.....

  • Words & music © 2014-2015 Lawrence Mark Lesser

    She tries to "fix" me or she's silent all night;
    Neither's what I want, but on av'rage, it's all right.
    It's like my head's in an oven and my feet in a block of ice:
    The temperature on av'rage is one that would suffice!
    At my center, a funny valentine
    Says.... "on av'rage, I'm fine!"

    I can be so left-brained and hardly feel my heart;
    I can be so right-brained and be taken off guard.
    The sides of my brain never align
    But on av'rage, I'm fine!

    BRIDGE: Average manages to only go so far--
    Gotta know my range when I play a mean guitar!

    I have a broken heart and ache in my soul,
    But have a brand new car and a million-dollar home.
    I'm poor in spirit, but I can buy good wine....
    On av'rage, I'm fine!

    Half of you love this tune and say it's worth a prize;
    The rest find it worthless and something to despise!
    Some give ovations, some let tomatoes fly:
    Guess on average.... it's fine!