Summary Statistics

  • Lyric and music copyright by Carla Ulbrich

    I got a totally average woman stands about 5'3"
    I got a totally average woman she weighs about 153
    Yeah she's a mean, mean woman by that I mean
    statistically mean
    Y'know average

    When she walks down the street some people notice some don't
    When she walks down the street some people notice
    But in general most people won't
    Some guys will whistle just as many won't

    She takes all my money invests it in a mutual fund
    She takes all my money invests it in a diversified dividend-producing mutual fund
    We'll probably retire in a style to which we are accustomed

    Make a blind man hear
    Make a deaf man see
    She could have any guy who is no better or worse than me

    I got a totally average woman got an IQ of 103
    She's a mean, mean woman statistically

    Every night she beats me Lord she beats me so bad
    Every night she beats me Lord
    You wouldn't believe how she beats me so bad
    She is the toughest scrabble partner that I have ever had

    I asked her for some water she said ice or no ice?
    I asked her for some water and she said,
    "do you want a cup or a glass and ice or no ice?"
    Then she brought it to me ... that was nice

    She can let a sleeping dog lie
    Send a dead man to his grave
    When she was a young child she would usually behave

    I got a totally average woman she's about 5'3 point 7
    Yeah she's a mean, mean woman
    By that I mean statistically mean
    Y'know average
    Baby I would walk over room temperature coals for you

  • Lyric copyright ©2011 by Lawrence Mark Lesser.
    May sing to the tune of "Mean" (Taylor Swift)

    You.......with your words like mean & mode & symbols that you use against me.
    Mu........stands for a population mean and x bar for the sample.
    Who.....knows what symbol to use for other measures of data location.
    You......pickin' each time the mean.
    But it can get pulled off by just one single point,
    And you don't know what you don't know....

    CHORUS:
    Sometimes data have a real asymmetry
    Or values that are really quite extreme.
    In those cases, better use the median
    If the middle is what you need - that's not gonna be the mean!

    That won't be the mean with outliers, just forget it,
    Do you see just what I mean & mean & mean & mean? (repeat chorus)

  • Lyric © 9/8/2011 Lawrence M. Lesser
    (to the tune of same-titled song by Suzanne Vega and Stephen Addabbo that was a minor hit for Joe Jackson and Vega from the 1986 soundtrack album for the coming-of-age film Pretty in Pink)

    If you want me, you can find me
    Left of center, down the long scale:
    In the skewness, down the left side,
    In the sparseness of the long tail.

    When they ask me "What shape describes your graph?",
    I always answer: "Left-skewed (left-skewed)."
    I think they know that my skew is negative;
    I think they think my mode is plain rude.

    But I'm only in the long tail of the density,
    Far away from the modal view--
    And if you want me, you can find me
    Left of center, wondering about μ,
    wondering about μ.....

  • Words & music © 2014-2015 Lawrence Mark Lesser

    She tries to "fix" me or she's silent all night;
    Neither's what I want, but on av'rage, it's all right.
    It's like my head's in an oven and my feet in a block of ice:
    The temperature on av'rage is one that would suffice!
    At my center, a funny valentine
    Says.... "on av'rage, I'm fine!"

    I can be so left-brained and hardly feel my heart;
    I can be so right-brained and be taken off guard.
    The sides of my brain never align
    But on av'rage, I'm fine!

    BRIDGE: Average manages to only go so far--
    Gotta know my range when I play a mean guitar!

    I have a broken heart and ache in my soul,
    But have a brand new car and a million-dollar home.
    I'm poor in spirit, but I can buy good wine....
    On av'rage, I'm fine!

    Half of you love this tune and say it's worth a prize;
    The rest find it worthless and something to despise!
    Some give ovations, some let tomatoes fly:
    Guess on average.... it's fine!

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