Observational Studies

  • by Eveline Pye

    They need to trust you
    describe their reasoning
    in detail. Each premise
    must be laid bare.

    “Why did you do that?

    Where did that number
    come from?”

    I follow each step
    searching for the wrong idea,
    the mistaken concept.

    Sometimes, all I gift
    is one new thought like….
    “Dividing can make
    a number bigger”,
    and it’s as if I see
    their minds inflate.

    It’s like blowing air
    into someone else’s lungs.
    You have to stop
    as soon as you can.

    You need them
    to  breathe again
    - all on their own.

  • by Eveline Pye

    Have you noticed that none of your stickhands
    has any teeth? Well, I’m sure they do
    put a lot of sugar in their tea, but do you not think
    it might be something to do with the job,
    poised above tanks,
    jabbing spaces between cathodes
    while acid fumes hit them in the face?

    You’re not convinced. Well here it is.
    I can be very scientific when I want to be.

    The control group was matched for age, sex, tribal origin
    and grade within the company. A Mann Whitney U-test was
    carried out and the null hypothesis was rejected, resulting in
    the conclusion that the stickhands have significantly fewer
    teeth than the control group. Your attention is drawn to the
    Dental Surgeon’s report on page 47:

    THESE MEN HAVE NO TEETH

    The management has to pay compensation
    but I get big white wally smiles
    every time I set foot in the tankhouse.

  • by Lawrence Mark Lesser
    Who had contact? Who gave the money?
    How did they pick who was studied?
    What was the setting? What was asked?
    How else did the groups contrast?
    What was the size of the effects –
    Did it matter in a practical sense?

  • In comparing the deaths of one hospital with those of another, any statistics are justly considered absolutely valueless which do not give the ages, the sexes and the diseases of all the cases.

    Florence Nightingale (1820 - 1910)

  • The same set of statistics can produce opposite conclusions at different levels of aggregation.

    Thomas Sowell (1930 - )

  • A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

    Conan O'Brien (1963 - )

  • It is a common error to infer that things which are consecutive in the order of time have necessarily the relation of cause and effect.

    Jacob Bigelow (1787 - 1879)

  • I am not accustomed to saying anything with certainty after only one or two observations.

    Andreas Vesalius (1514 - 1564)

  • It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

    Fletcher Knebel (1911 - 1993)

  • The plural of anecdote is not data.

    Roger Brinner (1947 - )

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