General

  • by Sally Maughan

    Statistics
    Lies?
    Or, perchance, truth

    1. The data on walking while drunk are staggering.
    2. The data on swimwear fashions are revealing.
    3. The data on LED bulbs are enlightening.
    4. The data on trout fishing are streaming.
    5. ​The data on herding horses were wrangled.
    6. The data on excavations were mined.
    7. The data on feedback are suggestive.
    8. The data on laundromats are cleaned.
    9. The data on the presidential debates were not convincing.
    10. The data on embossers are impressive.
    11. The data on cardiac transplants are disheartening. 
    12. The data on neuroses are worrisome.
    13. The data on chiropractors are aligned.
    14. The data on towing services were broken dow​n.
    15. The data on windshields are clear.
    16. The data on numismatics are collected.
    17. The data on grift are corrupted.
    18. The data on undergarments are supportive.

    Pedagogical guidance: provide your students with a couple of the above examples of this type of joke and ask them to invent their own jokes of the form

    "The data on _____A_________ are _____B_____,"

    and then to explain what it means for data to be ___B____.

     

    Larry Lesser and Dennis Pearl

  • by Lawrence Mark Lesser

    Statistics must be fast. . .
    ‘cause my newspaper gives numerical nuggets as “fast facts”
    ‘cause my doctor’s orders say STAT when she wants a test done now
    ‘cause velocity is a big feature of big data

    ‘cause some statisticians
    do accelerated testing,
    fast Fourier transforms,
    or a Tukey’s quick test

    ‘cause statisticians
    run studies,
    run simulations,
    and run tests (like a runs test)

    and those who run are fast, even
    in the long run

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