A Mouse, Analyzing Just One

Lyrics by Dennis Pearl.  May sing to the tune of "The House of the Rising Sun" popularized by the Animals

There is a mouse with odd new genes
They’re all analyzing that one.
And it’s been the ruin of many a poor lab
Reproducible results are none.

My mother went to Baylor
Where she studied new transgenes.
My father was a Gramblin’ man
Down near New Orleans.

Now the only thing a study needs
are cases to match controls.
And the only time that’s satisfied
takes dice and all their rolls.

Oh teachers, tell your students
Not to do what I have done.
Spend your lives experimenting
on a mouse, analyzing just one.

Well my bioinformatics platform
Is impossible to train.
I’m going back to splicing genes
having samples to obtain.

They built a mouse with odd new genes
to solve a rare disease.
A statistician asked for a hundred more
And God, I hope he said “please.”

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