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# If Only P were greater

may sing to the tune of "Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)" (Patrick Monahan, Robert Hotchkiss, James Stafford, Scott Underwood, and Charlie Colin)

Backed by evidence, I've made a new guess
My alternative hypothesis, hey--
I thought you said you still loved me too
But I've rejected this null, it just ain't true, hey--
Why do I care for you when I've
Found the p-value is less than point-oh-five, hey-- hey--

But tell me, is there practical relevance
To stop reaching out to you?
Though statistical significance,
A circumstance unlikely due to chance

Tells me, I don't mean much to you
And there's nothing left to do
Sometimes the difference seems small at best
Should I run another test?

Well if p is low, I guess null must go
Although I'd much prefer Ho to stay--
But the chances you feel the way I do
Are under five percent (wish it wasn't true), hey--
If my results are right, I'm not quite sure
Perhaps I made a Type I error? hey-- hey--

But tell me, to stop reaching out to you,
Is there practical relevance?
Though statistical significance,
A circumstance unlikely due to chance

Tells me, I don't mean that much to you
And there's nothing left to do
I feel the difference is small at best
Maybe I'll run another test?

Could you imagine no Type I error,
Saying things are out of place and the feelings are gone
Even when they're really not

Could you imagine if p was really high
And I did not have to question
The significance of the results

Tell me, does significance mean a thing?
If there exists another possibility
I'll need some new hypotheses

And tell me, is there practical relevance?
Between results I'd expect from null
And those I actually got
Is the difference smaller than I thought?

Tell me, 'cause I'm not so sure
If I made a Type I error
Feelin' so lonely, guess,
I'll need to make another test

Maybe I made a Type I error
Should I still reject Ho?
Still reject Ho?
Or maybe I should set my alpha at less than point-oh-five