I Will Find U

Lyric copyright by Kate McFarland
may sing to tune of "I Will Find You" (Peter Hammill)

Trapped by your habit when you must compare,
Two-sample t-tests that blind you
I have a better way;
each observation pair,
I'll assess, greater/less; I will find U.

(For) independent samples X and Y,
Mann-Whitney's test, I'll remind you,
Is so simple--add a half for every tie,
Else just sum, naughts and ones, and you'll find U.

Far away in a normal test
You'll find you don't have so much freedom;
Don't run away to a normal test.

Don't be afraid should it be unknown
What distribution's before you.
Don't be afraid (with) symmetry alone,
Lose no more, (than) point-one-four, if you find U.

Far away in a normal test
Things cannot be much more efficient;
Don't run away to a normal test...

Trapped by your habit when you must compare,
Two-sample t-tests that blind you
I have a better way;
each observation pair,
I'll assess, greater/less; I will find U.

register