Lyrics and music ©2025 by Dick De Veaux
Data science, Data science
Night and day it’s Data science
Some say it’s just statistics
Some say that it’s comp science
But what we’re really scared of
Is losing all our clients
So maybe we should join them
And just form some grand alliance
Data science data science
Data science
Data science, data science
Night and day it’s data science
Now think about the Russians
And imagine our reliance
As we’re putting neural networks
Into every damned appliance
To imagine this disaster
Doesn’t take much rocket science
Data science data science
Data science
Data science, data science
Now to Chat we all seek guidance
But when we ask about regression
We get tales of ancient giants
Cites a paper it invented
And a court case with no clients
Should we ship this to production
Or is that non-compliance?
Data science data science
Data science
Lyric ©2025 Lawrence Mark Lesser*
may sing to the tune of “Purple Haze” (Jimi Hendrix)
College GAISE builds the brain:
concepts need to be explained. (3)
Apps and software analyze (6)
real data with a reason why! (4)
Many ways we’ll assess (9)
our iterative data science process—(1)
Variables can confound, (5)
but active learnin’ helps us ground! (8)
Evidence-based ways to teach (8)
will increase students reached.
Show the scope of what we conclude (2)
with ethics and belonging all infused! (7, 10)
Outro:College GAISE: give its authors praise
for trails blazed as the website displays!
*right-hand numbers in parentheses denote related GAISE guideline, as listed in
Perrett, J. (2024). Revising the Guidelines for Assessment and Instruction of Statistics Education (GAISE) College Report.Scatterplot, 1(1).
Parody of “The Professor’s Song” Lyrics by Tom Lehrer (American Mathematical Monthly 81 (1974), 745), set to the melody of “If You Give Me Your Attention” from Princess Ida by Gilbert and Sullivan
Lyrics © 2021 Paul Velleman
If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am.
I'm a famous statistician – a professor with a plan.
I’ve tried for numerous degrees, in fact I've one of each;
Of course that makes me eminently qualified to teach.
I understand statistics theory thoroughly, it's true,
And I can't see why it isn't all as obvious to you.
Each lecture is a masterpiece, meticulously planned,
Yet everybody tells me that I'm hard to understand,
And I can't think why.
My charts and graphs are models of true art, you must agree,
And my powerpoints are famous for their legibility.
My equations are so clear you can absorb them at a glance.
My notation is derived from just what Pascal used in France.
The anecdotes I tell get more amusing every year,
Though frankly, what they go to prove is sometimes less than clear,
And all my explanations are quite lucid, I am sure,
Yet everybody tells me that my lectures are obscure,
And I can't think why.
Consider, testing whether there’s a difference between
the centers of two groups—you simply calculate the means
You sum the deviations—no, the variance I’ll bet
And maybe take a square root then of something—I forget.
Well, anyway, there is a test, of that there is no doubt.
All these formulas are trivial if you only think them out.
Yet students tell me, "I have memorized the whole year through
Ev'rything you've told us, but the problems I can't do."
And I can't think why!