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Totally Average Woman

Lyric and music copyright by Carla Ulbrich

I got a totally average woman stands about 5'3"
I got a totally average woman she weighs about 153
Yeah she's a mean, mean woman by that I mean
statistically mean
Y'know average

When she walks down the street some people notice some don't
When she walks down the street some people notice
But in general most people won't
Some guys will whistle just as many won't

She takes all my money invests it in a mutual fund
She takes all my money invests it in a diversified dividend-producing mutual fund
We'll probably retire in a style to which we are accustomed

Make a blind man hear
Make a deaf man see
She could have any guy who is no better or worse than me

I got a totally average woman got an IQ of 103
She's a mean, mean woman statistically

Every night she beats me Lord she beats me so bad
Every night she beats me Lord
You wouldn't believe how she beats me so bad
She is the toughest scrabble partner that I have ever had

I asked her for some water she said ice or no ice?
I asked her for some water and she said,
"do you want a cup or a glass and ice or no ice?"
Then she brought it to me ... that was nice

She can let a sleeping dog lie
Send a dead man to his grave
When she was a young child she would usually behave

I got a totally average woman she's about 5'3 point 7
Yeah she's a mean, mean woman
By that I mean statistically mean
Y'know average
Baby I would walk over room temperature coals for you


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